Wednesday, November 9, 2016

miscontrued crack aka runny catharsis

confounded
by the weight of being

the constant nag and tug
at my skeleton
laced at the collar
to worlds

worlds with
methods
requirements

as does this one
the one I met you in
the one you comprehend

there is no separating one from the other
in my experience

your worlds
so loud to me
plowing through
from the other side
squealing out expectations
judgments

as a result
apprehensive in what my involvement means
apprehensive in what my detachment means
I am not alone in this
yet I feel so helpless

seeing these worlds
so small within
melding with current situation
the how
the why
the ignorance
and yet
the beauty of it all

you elucidate my deepest apprehension
in jest
there is a place you hold
urging me to regress

it is cold and self serving
it does not realize
there are two
in this relating

is my perception accurate

will you hold on to this
simply because I do all
and you
contented by my eagerness to please
enough to not give a second thought to my circumstance

how do I convey the things you would rather not discuss
the things I've been held from discussing

am I strong enough
to walk through
this convoluted mine field
of normative means
somehow
keeping it's daily challenges
manageable

my hesitation simply means
you are unaware of this plight

it is something you must recognize
now
though because you do not
i simply haven't the will
or energy
to make this necessity known
or understood

the days will tell

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