miscontrued crack aka runny catharsis

confounded
by the weight of being

the constant nag and tug
at my skeleton
laced at the collar
to worlds

worlds with
methods
requirements

as does this one
the one I met you in
the one you comprehend

there is no separating one from the other
in my experience

your worlds
so loud to me
plowing through
from the other side
squealing out expectations
judgments

as a result
apprehensive in what my involvement means
apprehensive in what my detachment means
I am not alone in this
yet I feel so helpless

seeing these worlds
so small within
melding with current situation
the how
the why
the ignorance
and yet
the beauty of it all

you elucidate my deepest apprehension
in jest
there is a place you hold
urging me to regress

it is cold and self serving
it does not realize
there are two
in this relating

is my perception accurate

will you hold on to this
simply because I do all
and you
contented by my eagerness to please
enough to not give a second thought to my circumstance

how do I convey the things you would rather not discuss
the things I've been held from discussing

am I strong enough
to walk through
this convoluted mine field
of normative means
somehow
keeping it's daily challenges
manageable

my hesitation simply means
you are unaware of this plight

it is something you must recognize
now
though because you do not
i simply haven't the will
or energy
to make this necessity known
or understood

the days will tell

"ten thousand trillion times weaker"

you may not hold me


down the line
of eager gazers on


you may not wince
at the sight
of what all in queue
on cue
would consider
unsightly


the simultaneous gasp
of the multitudes
at witness to
disheveled
ever fluxing me


pure animal


a Higg's field
awaiting the switch flip
stuck near off
or gradient increase
thereof


and what is slight


my frame
my will
my concern
my love


detached and altogether

wavering in balance

omniscient in ignorance


a clutch
in it's sweetest melody
reeling in it's web
off the feed line


and there you lie
with your soft belly
choking on the air
keeping you complacent


oh how the ecstasy
of youth's myopic mode
told us worlds


the fruit of your moment
bore you in English
and he delights in the sounds
from which I find comfort


while you
learning
from the echoes
of which your mother took hers


the repetitious told story
the common plot
the nature of animals
of what it was to crave and collect
edited for airplay
what this world has so obviously violated and weathered

and now we sit with the result of this rusted festering heap
gawking at each other in judgment as if it all meant so much



http://www.sciencealert.com/the-2-most-dangerous-numbers-in-the-universe-could-signal-the-end-of-physics

American Crow

Tangible
The costumes of grand conclusion
Onerous as the air
of conceding to your own folly

I cower
as a violent murmur lurks
where none suspect

Hardly the ideal of your perception
as my crystal injection admits
it's the idea of
which makes it a must



“We cross our bridges as we come to them and burn them behind us, with nothing to show for our progress except a memory of the smell of smoke, and the presumption that once our eyes watered.”
—Tom Stoppard, Rosencratz and Guildenstern Are Dead